5. A Repeating Problem

Recently, I took time off so I can finish a script. 2 weeks to get it done. The time went by so fast and I struggled hard day and night to do it. The whole script hit a wall. The mood and pacing was all wrong. Things didn't feel right when I was writing it either. So I had to start over. New idea, new script. Then it was doing good and it felt right. This is when I only had two days left and now I have no time to hardly work on it. This always happens to me.  Last year I did the same thing and it ended the same way. Why? I'm now 3 weeks behind and will fall farther, and with this project I can't miss the good weather or it will never get done. Most of it is outdoors and budget is under 5000 as of now. I hate this so bad. My job has held me back for so long (That's the reason why I had to take the 2 weeks.) The hours are never the same. So I can't go scouting until next week or write. I have only two hours for myself today and I can't write under pressure or writer block instantly kicks in and I loose all I have. And I can't truely scout until I have the script done. So burnt out now. I want to quit the job so bad, but I just going to cut back instead. But it takes 3 weeks for it to kick in. I want out so bad. It's the main sourse me being unhappy. I didn't survive Hell and back, so I have have someone else screw with me. I'm feeling desperate. I'm also planning on telling them that they are now my secondary job, and they must work around me. My well being is more important and I'm doing this for my better good. How am I suppose to be like nomal people if I can't feel good about myself and have something to be proud of. Some type of success. To me that's what living is about and filmmaking does all that for me. The chance to work with people, who treat you with respect, and you're not a tool to make people more billions. I've been feeling misable lately and I know why. Not being about to success and do what I want. I still feel like I'm being controled. I will find someway to be free. I have tasted the life of freedom in the 2 weeks and I want it more than ever. It's not impossible because I know other poeple who have done it: life without sorry retail work and pride in my self, and success.

My Screenwriting Method

   When I write my drafts, they are done rough without traditional writing standard--and this is done with everything I write. With my writing, I do it as I'm producing it myself. Everything I see is from this mind frame. This is the only way I see to do it and here's why. Honestly, most scripts to succeed must be done written as "You producing it myself." This is why most of my scripts aren't flowery sounding text. Because it is not necessary if you do it yourself. Scripts after they are filmed are rewritten to sound that way. The original Terminator script was actually 40 pages but afterwards was 100+ pages. It was rewritten. It was made to read better for fans that search online for it, so they can "learn." This nice flowery writing standard is done for screenplay contests and Hollywood, which I don't do. In these scripts are directions for characters. This is done due to the standard but it is wrong, even though it is taught by screenwriting sources. Like telling what type smile for actors to have at a set moment or "(Direction like this for actors!)." It is for the director to tell the actors what smile they want (Just watch the behind the scenes bios on movies. You'll see Steven Spielberg telling Harrison Ford to look that way, too smile like so, or do something "like this"--"as if," and so on.) and actors will ignore "( )." It's not the screen writers job to tell the directors and actors what to do. But that's what I have seen in the guidelines of  screenwriting standards but I will not give directions. This is a sin against the craft, but I am guilty of doing this with the acting. I do this to remember and it makes coming up with objectives and as ifs easier on set, and directions for them. Another reason for not writing directions is that the director has a vision and he will do it his way (I also direct mine, so I don't have that problem). He is the director and no one besides the producer will direct him. In Hollywood the writer is usually out of the picture once the script is paid for, but in Indies there will be the "director writer talk."               
     When I write, I write what's goes on and what people will see. It is very basic and bland. But script is suppose to be that way. It's not a novel. You are telling. Whatever in the script will be heighten on film. You'll see this at the first reading. But before the reading I write it the best I can. I try to match film by daydreaming and seeing it in my head. There's the rule I also follow-- "if it's not in the script then it's not in the movie." My script aren't pretty but I don't loose anything. They aren't suppose to be. Their main point is to be a blueprint of the film. I will only do it this way. Doing it your way and writing it for you to produce is the only way you'll ever get a script into a film. Your chance of winning a contest is less than 1% and getting someone in Hollywood to pick it up is slimmer, same with an agent. When people in Hollywood make movies, they use their friends or do it themselves with another person. And personally all these contests doesn't mean a thing. They are nice but a good script will make a good movie. And anybody can write a script that can be turn into a movie. I personally believe that a script doesn't even have to be good too make it. Look at all the crap Hollywood makes. Those people made it because of who they know or other projects they did, and Hollywood also always has to be doing something.

     There's are not really any must rules besides having some sort of clean format and to have good grammar so it can be read. I always hear that it must have lots of pages, at least 100. Not true, can be less. A lot less. The Most Dangerous Game is 62 minutes, and every minute is a page like they say. Personally, I think the movie is fine as is. Seen it over 7 times and still love it, but it being only 62 min has no effect on me. So if you aren't writing for Hollywood, studios or contests; all the prettiest writing will do no good. This also makes it easier on you. Writing is hard as is. The late hours up, lack of sleep, waking up in the middle of the night to write things down . . . I know I'll never go to Hollywood, and I don't want too. Independent I can do what I want. I'm a skeptic and don't like Hollywood.

   Write the script your way because you'll be using it. The actors will have a different one. With the finished scripts, I tend to mark out somethings with actor scripts. Actor scripts are the rough script but with things removed. The actors aren't really not going to care about most of the details because it doesn't apply to them--like  character directions.